Rant...Rant...Rant

There are some things that I can't handle and cooking is right there on the top

It's not just cooking alone...it's eating in general. I mean I can't see myself giving eating a priority over say...sleeping, working, watching movies, anything.
And it's terribly unfortunate that I got married to a family that thinks cooking and ensuring that everybody at home is fed is THE topmost priority. (Gosh, I've read that line and yeah it soooo feels like this IS the top priority right, what else can be?) No, I am not against that. What I mean is...say you have a flight to catch at 9.30 PM, having dinner at 6 PM doesn't fit in the scheme of things for me(doesn't matter that you haven't had your lunch, no that doesn't count!)

okay...I'll relive the scene:
Me and Shiva go home at 5.30, he has a flight to catch at 9.30
His akka's home and is busy cooking by the time we go home
Me:!!!what you've started cooking already?!!!
His mom - Shiva has to eat right?!!!
Me (to Shiva) - What, you'll have dinner and go??????!!!!!!!!!
His Mom - Then? What else will he eat???!!!!!!!

See, the exclamations and question marks summarize the disparity of though process that both of us have.

I know it is not like that, but the kind of inference that I (nobody else) draw from this episode is:
1. I am least bothered about Shiva having dinner before he leaves
2. Not caring at all, at least not as caring as his mom and sis and the rest of them are

And to top this, I didn't accompany Shiva to the airport. How can someone think of doing that????!!!!

No one's really said anything. These are all MY inferences. And what do I get out of all this...?
I am left hungry coz nobody bothered to ask me to eat, I felt too stupid to ask and eat.
I didn't go to the airport, but didn't work either and am busy typing this stupid rant..
and I am left feeling even more depressed than what I was about an hour back

The Family - Getting into the groove

and suddenly one fine day he started sleeping in the night, all through the night, just like that...and then everything felt so normal and relaxed.

I am back at work, Dhruv is a looooot better and older. Now, all of us sleep at night, Dhriti has her vacation and so we sleep a little more...normally wake up only at 8 AM :)) So, it's bliss overall

Since I am back at work, there is not much time left to think and brood. I kind of like this chaos and everything now seems fine!
Dhruv's reached his first milestone-he can now turn around and sleep on his stomach!!
We thought boys are a little late and maybe he'll take yet another month to "tumble". But looks like this guy is in a hurry!
He still can't hold his head properly though and has a trouble pulling his hand once he tumbles, so there's a lot of crying.
Shiva's mom is here and so are Dhriti's cousins and the house is even more (maybe 10 times more) chaotic.
At times, when I can't stay back longer at office or I can't reach office earlier I get irritated (which is most of the times)
But then, like everything else I am hoping this will pass off also and I'll be able to find the right balance.

Oh...Shiva might have to travel this month for sure...and that's when the real fun will begin. I'd love to have my mom and dad here at Hyd. Not that I have an issue with my mom-in-law and sis-in-law staying over buuuuuut...mom is any day much more helpful. I'll be less guilty about staying late at office, waking up late, and 100 such things...

And yeah, I'll turn 30 next month!!!!!
Looking at how things have been happening all around I'd say I'm truly happy about the state of life in general.(touch-wood) So, what did I achieve?

Adorable kids and a happy family

When the going gets tough...

the tough get going...but then this is beyond that...absolutely beyond that....I hope and wish that the families are strong...I would do anything to ease their pain...just anything...

A family lost their 26 year old son in a couple of hours to something as serious as Leukamia....and with absolutely no warning...
A family lost their 1.5 year old kid to...don't know what...maybe seizures...
A husband lost his wife of 1 year to...again not sure what it was

This is all I've been hearing entire last week...I don't think stating this unfair is just enough...do we have anything else in the vocabulary to describe this...???

This is sooo so unfair..

I just don't know how to react...will I ever be able to get over this? Will we be able to live without any thought of what might happen later...tomorrow...the next hour...the next minute...
the kids are still young...and it's still a long long way to go...will this fear ever ever go away...and will I be able to stay my usual stable...rock-solid self??

Should I ask the god for help...? the same one who has taken away a child's life and created a void in their parents life...the same god..??Really?