Touching an all-time low....

June 8th:

Dhriti had high temperature and this fever resulted in what is medically called "Febrile Seizures"
Now I know what people mean when they say, I wouldnt wish this for the worst of my enemies. Yes, I really wouldn't want any parents to go through this trauma. It was quite a scare to see Dhriti...the pretty pretty one go so uncontrollable and then limp...God, that was one scary day.
By god's grace, she is fine now, doing good and we are also coping up with the fact that yes, that had to happen, but life will go on......
For all the parents out there....watch out when your kid is having fever...closely monitor them and ensure that you do padding with cold water and bring down the temperature soon...
And if against hope of hopes your child does have seizures try and stay calm...though it is very very very difficult.
This is common problem with all the toddlers and one in 25 children have this problem, its just scary and it is NOT AT ALL harmful.

Chatter Box

More than a chatter box, she is a parrot. A sweet one at that...she keeps repeating every word that you utter.
I have a feeling that she learns her words fast...
some cute things that she says...
Umpty dumpty--Her version of humpty dumpty in a definite sing-song fashion
Hi...and Babbaaaiii--No one in the lift is spared, everyone gets either a Hi or a babbaaaiii...the lucky ones get both!!
Chooos-Shoes, these days she wears one pair and carries one pair in hand
Sam-mam-mam--Meaning "sambandham", she picked this word during some conversion we were having @ home. And now, we keep repeating just to get her attention and make her repeat it..:)
Babbu-luuu---Thats Bablu, the cute little kid , I wonder if she mistakes him for a toy...

and you can get her to repeat any word that you want, she'll definetely give it a try...a best shot!!
These days we are into learning tounge twisters...
"Betty bought some butter...but the butter was bitter...so..Betty bought some better butter to make the bitter butter better!!"
She's trying her hand at this now...keep up the good work

And life goes on.....

I've been putting off writing this one since quite some time...
Everytime I see this or any other blog, I feel like writing something...but ultimately dont do so...coz I just cant get myself into writing this..
6th May, I got a call from Aps in the morning...asking me if I got to know the news...I was like what...she said about A.S...I said No...half expecting her to be pregnant or something like that...
and then she tells me..A.S passed away on 4th ee...
thats the most shocking news I've heard in my life time....how..when...why...just too many questions...too many visions...too many thoughts...
and finally we got to know the details...actually there aren't much..
she was fine...doing good..they were planning on getting a car during the weekend,moving into a new house next month, starting a family next year and things like any normal 25-30 year olds would do...
And then suddenly one night she comes home from office, has dinner, watches TV (yeah she was into TV serials bigtime) and then before going to bed goes to the rest room, but never comes back.
Doctors say it could be massive heart stroke (but why in a 26 year old lady with no tensions in life!!!), or extreme fits...(Is that really possible!!!) or something to do with blood clot in the brain...

Life is such a mess...so very unfair..
they've had some of their toughest times in life...convincing their parents..extended families...getting all of them to agree...and then finally get married...V & A.S the best couple we've ever known...why would anybody want to do this to them? Why take away something that they've just begun to enjoy and cherish...why give them something in the first place and take it away so rudely..so suddenly...but why...??

Images keep flashing across my mind...the times we spent togther, the songs we sang together, the stressfull times we had while she was admitted into the hospital during our college, the life after REC in Hyd, the fight we had..the only friend that I make a point to visit whenever I am in India..the only link I've got to my most treasured past...my college life..but why her....???

And then suddenly...the most toughest question hit me in my face...Why V...? Yeah agreed it was sudden.. she could have had a better life...but now she is no more...but V is alone here...with just a few years of memories to drag him along for the rest of his lifetime...how...?why...? will he ever be able to get back to normal...will he ever enjoy listening to a song and not remember her sweet voice...???If, afterall, I am not able to do that...can he...?? How come one incident in life shatters a person...reduces him to a sorry sight..why him...? why him??Life's so unfair..
What have they done to deserve this kind of treatment...? Is this fate...?Should it be so brutal...?

Now when I hear someone singing...laughing...having fun I am reminded suddenly of things that A.S cant do...things V might not be able to enjoy till maybe quite some time...
And what is it that keeps us going...? What have we done better to continue to live and enjoy life..?

Life simply goes on...even if it means it will be blown away like a candle suddenly one day...

She loves ......

playing in water... One such photograph from the water world, where she had a terrific time...even had her milk while sitting on the float. What else does she love...

1. Yes, her "banana". Not a single day passes without having a banana...and she picks them up whenever we are in a shop!!

2. Her chair, we bought her a chair recently and she loves that. The best combination, when she puts her "duppati" (blanket) in that chair and sits on it!!

3. TV stand.You just cant pull her away from the stand. These days she tries to "climb" that stand

4. Running out of the house. Out of the house she is elated...cant catch her.

But the award goes to "shoes". Be it her shoes or our slippers at home. We are allowed to remove her shoes only while she is sleeping

Sit back and enjoy!

Long before I started writing this blog...I was already reading many other blog sites (which these days are simply all over the place)

I've often wondered at how gifted a few people were with "words", really how well they write.
Maybe that was one reason why I couldn't get myself to start writing. Seems strange but somehow I didn't want to be underrated, I didn't want my writings to be inferior when compared to theirs...maybe I felt I wouldn't be as good as they are when it comes to "expressing thoughts in words".

Doesn't this happen quite regularly with most of us? We keep saying we don't want to be compared with anybody. I used to say this very often when I was young, when my mom told me about my cousins et all and when my aunts used to tell me how I should try and emulate my cousins and come up in life!!
(Actually there was this great big cousin of mine, who asked me what the turnover of my company was and when i said I didnt know, he was like "How can people be like this???" Sorry,but maybe I am not your kind.)

This "comparision bug" bites very early in one's life. As a kid you are compared to the kids around you, why are you not as active as the other kid is...why are you not getting as many marks as the other one is getting...
Even at school, we as children try to compare...how many marks did you get? Even if you dont get a 100 on 100 thats ok as long as you've got the highest in the class...
Atleast as kids we are our own self. If we are pissed off at the other kid even though he is your best friend, if he doesnt give you a toy, if he is not sharing a choclate, if he gets better marks than you, you can scream,cry and SHOW you are jealous.

But as you grow old, you can't do that. It's always "I'm so so so very happy for you!!"
"That's ok, even if I don't get it, you got it right and you are my friend"
How many times did I say that???!!! but at the bottom of my heart kept feeling...What if I were in her place??!!!
Why is it so bad to feel jealous and also show it?

I've often wondered why some people are "more gifted" and why I am simply an "above average girl" (not the brilliant one or the genious!!)
Maybe that was for my own good, maybe that was my destiny, yeah it really helps to believe in destiny (you can always leave the complex things to that!!)

Maybe if I was more intelligent, more smart, more whatever, I wouldn't have been leading the life I am leading today.
And I am perfectly happy with the way things are (yeah maybe I would love to learn swimming,french,horse riding, golf and spend lots of money building my wardrobe...,not worry about my bank balance...but who cares!!)

So, see using a simple theory I've come to terms with it. Every person is different from the other. And everyone needs friends and wellwishers (and it helps if you can hide your J feelings from this gang!) and these are the people who will appreciate anything that you do, these are the people that will give you a pat on the back when you've done something good, these are the people who will be there when you are down...
So, sit back enjoy and look out for building this group.

Dhriti-The Menance

Ok...I am making a deliberate attempt of not writing anything about REC or my friends there :)

Today moning I felt unusually lazy (not that I am at my best every morning,but today saw more of my "badhakam"). I didnt feel like waking up at all and even Dhriti was asleep so I was like what the hell...!!
And then...

Shot I:
Suddenly she wakes up says "Papa","Babu"...and then she starts off with her antics, starts flying like a bird (we taught her that recently and she is very good at that!!) and then gets off the bed and starts dancing...
Once all that is over and after pulling at my hair real hard and ensuring that I am fully awake she gives me this BIG "hiiiiiiii".

I felt on the top of the world...my daughter is the cutest one...the best...(Shiva actually says bestest,but I'd settle for best!!)

Shot II:

I am finally ready...good to go...and doing some puja...she tags along and throws the kumkum on the floor (she was actually trying to put that on her face), eats some, goes and gets the slippers that I left and eats them tooo and then goes near the TV and pulls off all the wires, eats my mobile and when I put her in her high chair screams at the top of her voice...

And I am like....Gooooodddddd...what the hell is she doing, why can't she just sit and stay calm at one place...

Shot III:

I am off to the office and she gives me a flying kiss and says..."Babbayyyyiii" (her version of Bye Bye!!) my euphoria is back again...!!

I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow...how different she is going to be...what she is going to become in her life..and all that..
But for now..every day...every moment with her is so very different...

Home after home - My LH

The day I entered this place and my parents left me there I cried...and the day I had to leave this place, all my friends and the cozy world that we've built there I cried again!
My LH, ladies hostel in REC, Warangal. Wow...what a place that was!!!! Under the roof (or the one that it didnt have) of this place, we had some of our best times in the world.

The ragging session that we attended...all standing in a "semi-circle" and then in the "center of gravity" of a block when we were giving our intro.

The scintilla that we let our hairs down for the first time...and the fun we've had!!

The freshers and the farewell parties that we had...

The mess that we went to...where we ate for 10 mins but sat down for hours togther

The phone calls we attended and the "calls" we attended from the guys waiting outside...

The exam tensions...results tensions...the happy and the sad times...

The avvas and saarus of the place...

The friends we made for a life-time....

I am sure everybody has got some great memories of this place...and it is still making people staying there alive!!

This is one place I would love to go back ...

Sirisha. P
CB 207